Career and Corporate Motivation Phrases and Their True Meaning
Anyways, following on from my last newsletter on quitting your job, sacking your boss (if you are subscribed to my VIP email list, you’ll know what I’m saying. If not, click here and don’t miss any FREE tips I provide).
It got me thinking about all the bullshine I have heard / and still do hear sometimes when I am walking the corridors of the corporate buildings. So, I thought as it’s Friday why not finish the week on a fun note!
So here’s my list of phrases and terms I’ve heard in the corporate world and what I believe to be the actual meaning of the phrase, these are just my views and meant for entertainment, if you use these yourself, well no doubt you use them sincerely ;-). See how many of these you recognise…
So, here we go
“I think you should stick to your competency” = You are crap at this go back to doing what you used to be good at.
“Let’s take this offline” = You (enter expletive here)!, you’ve made me look stupid, I’ll get you after this…
“Mistakes were made” = actually only by me but I damned if I’m going to admit that in this blameful environment!
“I am your line manager and you have a dotted line reporting to Jeff and Sara” = You’ve got three bosses, keep us all happy all the time
‘My bad’ = see ‘Mistakes were made”
“WE” = YOU
“Let me take this forward’ = I’ll share your idea with my boss, if he likes it I’ll not deny it was my idea – if he hates it I’ll agree with him that your ideas stink.
“I want to introduce more empowerment into the team” = I want you to do more of my work without the recognition – I’m still in charge, don’t screw up.
‘This project has lot’s of moving parts” = I’ve no f## clue what’s going on here….
“I had a really bad connection, ca you summarise that call for me” = I was replying to my emails and hardly listened at all, I hope you’ve got good notes.
“Will you go the extra mile” = can you work extra hours / weekends unpaid just for me?
“I’ve got this great career development opportunity for you to… (fill in th blank) = Do this extra work and then I can show my boss how great I am.
“This will go towards your end of year appraisal / balanced scorecard” = This will affect your pay rise / bonus – if there is one.
“Derek (insert boss name here) expects us to have this on his desk by Friday = Get this done for ME so I can look good in front of Derek